If I'm Gone
by muzical
Summary: Sirius/OC Oneshot "I’m not James Potter’s sister, nor am I the shy girl no one talked to. I’m a muggle… or so Sirius tells me. My name is Krista Thomas. I don’t have any reason not to tell you this; the threat is over, Lord Voldemort is gone."


"**If I'm Gone When You Wake Up"**

I'm not James Potter's sister, nor am I the shy girl no one talked to. I'm a muggle… or so Sirius tells me. My name is Krista Thomas. I don't have any reason not to tell you this; the threat is over, Lord Voldemort is gone.

I met Sirius at a random pub in London. No, nothing like that happened, we just talked…for hours… and then went on our separate ways. We met again at the same pub two days later; again we talked for hours, and then went back to his flat…I never went home. I moved in the next day.

That all happened in the beginning of August in 1981. We hung out with his friends; since I had just moved from Manchester to London, I didn't have many friends in the area. He told me outright what he was, a wizard. And at the time, I stared at him… thinking he was taking the mickey, but he was serious, no pun intended. He did a few spells and I nearly fainted. I couldn't even imagine that there was real magic in the world, especially since I was used to what was on the telly.

I spent the next couple months getting to know his friends and I soon felt like I was a part of their crowd. They didn't seem to mind that I wasn't a witch and they welcomed me warmly. I've never had such good friends. James and Lily had a year old son, Harry, and he was the most adorable little boy. He was already starting to try to talk.

Sometime near the end of October, James, Lily and Harry had to go into hiding, but they never told me exactly why. Now, I did know about Lord Voldemort and that James, Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter were in a group working to fight him. Sirius had to tell me since he was gone so often, for days at a time.

After James and Lily went into hiding, Sirius was in charge of them. I suppose he had to make sure they had food and company. He would go visit every other day. I couldn't go with him, so I stayed at his flat either cooking or cleaning.

On Halloween, I spent the night handing out candy to the kids that came by Trick-or-Treating. Halloween had always been my favorite holiday, until that night. Sirius went to check on Peter around eight pm. He returned later, sometime around midnight I believe, and I was still up reading. He was frazzled, distraught, but wouldn't tell me why. He kissed me softly, and we made love. He was gentler that night than ever before. After we finished, he kissed my forehead as I rested against his chest. Whispering how he cared about me and never wanted to leave me.

I must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning, alone in his bed. Glancing at Sirius' pillow, I found a note. I picked it up, wiped my eyes to clear the sleepiness and began to read:

"_If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry._

_And if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not goodbye._

_Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress,_

_Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams._

_If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry._

_And if I'm gone when you wake up, don't ask why._

_Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress,_

_Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams_

_And though my flesh is gone,_

_I'll still be with you at all times._

_And though my body is gone,_

_I'll be there to comfort you at all times._

_I don't want you to cry and weep._

_I want you to go on livin' your life._

_I'm not sleeping an endless sleep,_

'_Cause in your heart you all have good times._

_I've never felt this way before Krista. I'm sorry for what happened; I wish we had more time. Thank you for showing me how to have fun again. Don't wait for me._

_Yours,_

_Sirius_

I cried as I read it. I had no idea why, but I felt like I would never see him again. Getting out of the bed, I clicked on the telly and saw why he had vanished so suddenly. The newswoman had just started giving a run-down of the top stories.

"Top story of the morning, twelve innocent bystanders were murdered early this morning by a local man, Sirius Black. The killing spree began in a small village known as Godric's Hollow. There, Black murdered a young couple whose names have not been released, and left their infant son in his crib; he then hunted down Peter Pettigrew and murdered him along with the innocent civilians watching the scene. Black is currently in jail awaiting trial. We go live to Diane Simmons who is live on the scene. Diane?" the newswoman trailed off.

I collapsed onto the floor, feeling the tears surface, but not fall. What was I to do? The only one of his friends that was left was Remus Lupin, but he was never fond of me. I rarely saw him and when I did, he was distant, as if he held a secret he didn't want me knowing.

I sat there on the floor for what seemed like hours, staring at the walls. At around 9:30am, an owl flew through the window and delivered the morning paper Sirius always read. The headline was large and in bold, black print: **HARRY POTTER DEFEATS DARK LORD ****POTTER BEING CALLED 'THE BOY WHO LIVED'**. I stared at the headline in silence. Scanning my eyes down a bit further, I began to read the article.

"Harry James Potter is being called 'The Boy Who Lived'. Sometime last night HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED went to the Potter's residence with the intention of murdering the young family. The Potters were under the protection of the Fidelus Charm which had been broken when their Secret Keeper, Sirius Black, revealed their whereabouts to HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED."

_So that's what Sirius was,_ I thought, _Secret Keeper._ But it didn't make sense. Why would he murder his best friends? I saw how he and James acted together; it was like they were brothers. And Harry? He loved Harry; he adored being s Godfather. What would make him do such a thing?

I guess I would never know, seeing as how my only ties to the wizarding world were now severed. I had no hope of ever seeing him again.

* * *

**AN: My muse struck when I was on my way to my student's concert. It's completely random and separate from any other HP story of mine. I don't own Sirius, nor do I own the song lyrics nor song title. The song is "With You in Your Dreams" by Hanson and Sirius belongs to JKR.**

**Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Whether you're confused, like it, hate it... whatever.**


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